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Crazy & Thankful

I have been watching and reading about cancer fights by young women who exhibit such courage and grace and wisdom that I am reminded of my blessings (No matter how sick I am.) Crazy, Sexy, Cancer is a documentary by Kris Carr and while I lay in bed with my latest round of either the flu, or a cold or shingles or herpes or an autonomic adverse reaction to my heart which left me soaking a bed all the while my heart was in a race to the heavens with it’s 150 bpm, I am reminded (by my husband who said it could be worse which at the time didn’t feel very supportive, but he is right.) As a two time cancer survivor I am reminded of the grace of God on my life that has sustained me through a lifetime of an under reactive or over reactive Immune system. I am reminded of the sheer tenacity of my spirit to overcome the incredible challenges that have come my way and I awaken thankful and grateful. My friend lost her beloved husband last night, unexpectedly while I was irritated with mine. I am reminded once again to Be grateful for what I have. I have a hardworking, loyal man who adores me. Through thick and thin, in sickness and in health. He appears to be a rare bird these days as I am sure most men would be long gone. I am reminded that I am going on 10 years since cancer came marching across the landscape of my life. Did I have all the support I needed in loved ones? Nope…(they apologized, said they were scared) and do I understand why people who love you leave you in the middle of your darkest nights? I don’t…but I do know that GOD never left me. That was an amazing truth, that in the midst of drowning in the sorrow and fear and pain, GOD was there.

So this morning, I am reminded to count those blessings, the dog snoring peacefully, the hot water, my sleeping husband, the home that sustains me in winter. I am reminded that I have a choice to be thankful and to count every blessing. Every teeny tiny blessing which all add up to one blessed day, which brings me another blessed awareness of a life worth fighting for.