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I am a Jesus follower

I have had a rough time this week. {Understatement} A struggle between my heart and my head. My head says things like “Be afraid, America is doomed!” my heart says “God is good, all the time.” I have had some people in my life who openly battled with me this week about Trump. I DID NOT VOTE FOR EITHER CANDIDATE. First time ever. I just couldn’t do it. (Nor thankfully could my clan) so peace in our homes amongst ourselves has been good. I knew that voting the green candidate wasn’t going to amount to a hill of beans in the dung heap of our election but I did it anyway. I felt some peace afterwards, like a slow building storm had passed within my sleepless soul. I then watched America begin the knock down, drag out fight, of the my way or the highway. I heard perfectly lovely people spout hate. I heard both sides ready to fight with the other side. I retreated behind closed doors for a day and wept when the election was revealed. I felt sick at the message of the likes of Donald Trump being voted in as our President. That Americans were okay with this person leading us, being an example of all things American to the world, to our children and grandchildren. It crushed me actually. I also was unfriended and reviled by Christians. They are starting to leave a truly bad taste in my mouth.The magnitude of which the judgment, hate and condemnation flew took me to my knees.

So I am announcing to the world that I AM NOT AN EVANGELICAL CHRISTIAN. Nope! Leave me out of that mess. I thought that is what I was, but I CLEARLY AM NOT.

There…I said it.

I was talking to my beautiful dad last night on the phone. He spoke about a man who was fixing the door on my dad’s Presbyterian church where he has gone for over 50 years. He spoke of the man pouring his broken heart out to my dad and my dad sharing Jesus. They hugged and they cried together and so did I. You see my prayer for my dad has been that he will grow closer and deeper with Jesus. This Presbyterian elder and deacon and servant of a man for years never talked about his faith. He told me once he never led anyone to the Lord. My prayers have been that he would be used in greater measure to show this hurting world Jesus. Last night’s conversation together was like the breaking of bread and the drinking the cup of the communion act known as love. All those tender prayers answered. All those rag muffin moments of grace upon a hurting world, when Christians (Jesus followers) take their broken hearts and share his love. It’s all that heals and it’s all that reveals. I am convinced of this. I spoke about my not being an Evangelical and my dad, said “I have never seen you that way, I have only seen you as someone after Jesus, a Jesus follower.” I wept into my hands. Thank you GOD for that! I am not a religious person. I bristle at the thought. I am a love child, a lover of Jesus. My Savior, yes, but my deepest friend.

I also had a talk with one of my oldest and dearest friends. He is so angry right now, a tight ball of pain and bewilderment about the election. He told me he wrote a scathing post about Christians and said he was going to post it and then he thought of me. He erased his thoughts about the church and the Evangelicals because he thought it would hurt me. When I told him I am not one of those labels or those actions or those beliefs, he called me an angel. (We all know that’s not true) but I am thankful that somehow love triumphs over condemnation, hate, bigotry, slander and self righteousness gone rampant. We all know that no good thing comes from labeling and criticizing and yelling obscenities and trying to manipulate and control. I know I have done my share of all of the above at times. Give me the right circumstances and I am a street urchin. But God/Jesus is the healing balm. He is the peace maker of my soul and I am finally this morning able to say” It is well with my soul.

I love you

 

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