His name is Mister. At the age of 6 weeks I bottle fed him. He was the runt of the litter they said. He had mini seizures and lots of issues. I was grieving the loss of my 16-year-old Lhasa named Layla. My heart was broken. This pup and I struggled. For many months we struggled. He bonded to his sister and wanted nothing to do with me. He ate everything. Poison control knew him by name. I was sick and tired and grieving and he was wild and disassociated. I had my doubts. At a year he started rising up on his hind legs and dancing. It was a wonderful sight to see him do something so cute. (After a year of not so cute behaviors) He chewed sticks and ate his own poop and the poop of everything else. Then he would be sick. It was exhausting as he was so close to the ground I could never tell what he was doing. I started praying for him in new ways. I prayed for us to connect. For him to look me in the eye. My husband and I separated the siblings more often. He started sleeping with only me in the bed while my husband slept with the girl in the guest room. My husband took her with him to work. I took him with me everywhere I went. He would act bonded to me until someone (ANYONE) would visit. Then I was completely ignored. If we were on our daily walk he would want to go with strangers instead of with me. I started to feel like an outsider with this little man who I had poured every last ounce of love I had into. I cried myself to sleep sometimes as he went to the far corners of the bed to avoid me. I felt lonely and bewildered as I have never had an animal treat me this way.
Whenever his sibling and my husband would come into the room or the house he would immediately go to them and lay by my husband. Want to be picked up. My heart cracked again and again. I knew he was a pup and I was a mature woman but the little kid in me was crushed. I fed him and bathed him and nursed him when he was sick. Took him with me and played with him and walked him and he didn’t seem to care very much about me. I was his last resort for company. One day while having a good cry about so many things not being what I longed for in my life, he walked up to me and looked me in the eye.
I picked him up and he cuddled for a second and then he sighed and laid down beside me.
We stayed that way until his Dad and his sister came home… But hey it’s a start. I may just find my little buddy after all.