Church and the lost love

Most of the time I am thankful and at peace with being labeled a Christian. I love Jesus, he is my most precious relationship. I decided almost 38 years ago that I could never turn from him. He changed me, wooed me with his love, has shown me more grace and love than I deserve and for that I am blessed. In his heart I have found my identity and my mentor, my Savior and my friend. I want to be more like him. I want to carry him to the world. I also am often lumped (by well meaning people)  into the category of “religious.”  I must clarify for myself and the reader that I am most certainly NOT religious. I think that religion is “Man’s last defense against GOD”  I find Jesus/GOD in the forest which surrounds me, in the animals I have loved, in the created things. I find him in music and in peaches from the tree. I find him in kindness and in grace. I find him in silence and in cracked bells that ring a morning greeting. I find him in babies and in dying hands and in the rush of a cold stream. I find him in mercy. I find him in love. I have never been much about the buildings. I voted in congregations to NOT build new wings or buildings. I found him perfectly in a folding chair with 10 other believers on a ranchers land. I have been judged and hung by “Christians.” For not wearing a bra, for having an abortion when I was younger, for voting for Obama, for cussing when I could be praising.  Seriously, I can’t get over the things that divide us. I am more and more wary of politics and religion as bedfellows. It’s no way to vote in my opinion (Which is humble and remember I am the gal who started a new political party called  ” The party for the bewildered.”  of which I clearly am when it comes to politics.) I know what sin is and I am a sinner.  I cleared that up years ago. I have had personal and intimate encounters with Jesus/GOD and I have been a part of miracles both large and small. It’s humbling and life changing and life affirming. So this past week as I have been watching the thoughts of division, anger and bitterness. The “I told you so” and your side is wrong and your side is wrong and so on and so on. It’s making me want to duck and cover and dive under his love and hide. There are posts that say God is going to smite America. That GOD is an avenging GOD and we need to be put in our place. That he demands holiness.I used to think that way but then I realized that I AM NEVER going to be good enough. If GOD is a Vengeful GOD then I am never able to appease him. I can never be holy enough or righteous enough. I am just me, Lynn living in Colorado, running in and out of his arms, falling upwards and downwards, reading his words and listening for his voice and doing the best I can and sometimes not even wanting to do the best I can. I just imagine he will continue to be what he has always been and doing what he has always done. Loving me and the world he died for. Because he is GOD, the everlasting Savior, the Holy one.

So those are my Sunday evening thoughts. One’s that might offend some of you, (which is not my intention) I sometimes devour the Bible and it’s messages and other times I can’t relate or comprehend.  I sometimes just express to my loving GOD that I am bewildered and sad and mad and offended with all the madness. Then I lay me down to sleep…in his loving arms.

Peace out….

11 thoughts on “Church and the lost love

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